Challenge Your Perception of True Love

I have read my fair share of cosmo magazines. In a lot of them, I have seen articles like “How to meet the Ideal Woman/Man”; “How to Keep them Happy”; “How to keep Your Love,” etc. Every now and again I find one of such articles a good read. However, I have found that the general message is: If you follow these rules outlined below, you will find and keep your (true) love. Now I, and indeed I hope everyone else as well can see that that is simply not the case. In true love, there are no rules. It is filled with uncertainties, reckless abandon and such. There are no 7 ways to meet “The One”…there are no 10 ways to please “The One”… there most certainly are no 5 ways to keep your love as these magazines often suggest. In true love there are no rules that outline who should make what move and when; no pride, no agendas, no contingencies. In true love one is in with both feet and all or nothing.

If you were talking plainly about a successful and perhaps lasting relationship, then some of those cosmo rules may apply. If you are in fact NOT referring to that inexplicably fiery, passionate, often inconvenient, unreasonable yet sincere love, which consumed Elizabeth I and Robert Dudley, then yes- some of those rules may come in handy. They will teach you to identify and nurture attraction, chemistry, compatibility (a.k.a how much crap can we possibly take from each other and still remain cool). The rules will also help you build respect for one another and then help your relationship last for as long as the false sense of passion (brought on by physical attraction & chemistry) holds up. We can only hope that when that fizzles, you are left with enough respect to remain civil to each other.

The cosmo rules will also help you build a relationship that will conform to the norm- boy meets girl, they (allegedly) fall “in love”, get married, have kids, get bored/divorced/die. Society accepts this as the normal pattern a life should take and it is quite sad. For this reason, most will never experience pure, unadulterated love- they are too busy going against nature and conforming to what is “acceptable” to identify true love even when it lands smack dab in their laps. They will never experience that love that [cliché alert] even when it’s wrong it feels right. The feelings in Beethoven’s love letters to his immortal beloved will forever be lost on many. Granted, true love rarely translates into a “steady relationship” or a “happily ever after” affair. This is because as you will find, if in fact you seek, true love is wild and unconcerned with reason and convenience. It does not have much to do with compatibility either. It can strike two most unlikely people at a most inconvenient time. The story of Katie Morosky and Hubbell Gardiner best illustrates this in “The Way We Were.” Indeed, many great loves are short-lived and may end in tragedy but I am convinced enough to make the bold claim that if such lovers are given a second chance, they would still chose their true love experience over any steady, “happy enough”, relationship.

I believe this because by its very nature, TRUE love makes up for every other pain, failure, and imperfections our lives are plagued by. Even to experience it for a day is more than enough to last any mortal a lifetime and beyond. Until we are willing to break the mould and defy the rules we will be doomed to society’s version of love and happiness. Anyone who expects me to outline a number of ways to fall in love, nurture it and keep it is barking up the wrong tree. You can be sure that there are no such set ways to do any of the above. You must be sincere and vulnerable with no “game plan”. That is the only rule I believe. You see, I am currently looking for this love. And I will find it too. So what if my odds are one in a billion? I’ll take my chances. I will not settle for anything less exciting and less dangerous than true love.